Pantry

An absence of pantries to hide in may have future psychological implications for today’s youngsters..

Toppling towers of Tupperware
A dark place to hide for a dare
Among Christmas cakes wrapped in foil
And racks of carrots caked in soil
Fray Bentos. Five Pints and ginger beer
If only you could quell your fear
Nibble some cooking chocolate. Wait
The bead curtain moves. It’s too late 

Granddad’s Bathroom Cabinet

Clearing grandad’s house. Those objects left behind that say so much…..

Shaving brush. Talc. Cossack hairspray
Rusting blades have seen better days
Christmas bottles of after-shave
Coal tar soap. Brylcreem for his wave
Cracked mirror, where he’d stand and stare
Steel comb with a strand of his hair 

Cross Country

The dreaded school cross country run. Pain, humiliation and mediocrity in off-white sports socks….

Games lessons. Frosty afternoons I’d detest
Being forced to lap the common in a vest
Micro-shorts chafing and trainers completely soaked
‘Get your arses moving, girls,’ shouts Mr Oakes
Breaking puddles, ice-water jets up my thigh
Stumbling, second last, determined not to try

A Better Life

A poem inspired by newspaper stories of modern day slavery.

She wears a surgeon’s mask
To graft beneath the glare
Fourteen hours at the task
While passing shoppers stare

Threading eyebrows, buffing nails
It’s hardly a fresh start
Housewives sharing sad tales
Won’t mend her broken heart

A mattress on concrete
Is where she makes her bed
Other's heads at her feet
Twelve cramped inside a shed

Wanting a better life
Borrowing on the chance
She could be Ernie’s wife
But he just wants her to dance

Ambulance Chaser

Can’t stand the idiots who shoot out of a long queue of traffic to follow the space created by emergency services. Someone might be dying, but if you get to your sales meeting every cloud eh?

In the rear-view mirror, blue lights
Sirens. You swing out. The gap’s tight
Catch a ride on a heart attack
Your meeting at nine’s back on track

Doctor’s Waiting Room

Toddler dials a Fisher Price phone
A guy with bad feet sits alone
Stickle bricks tumble to the floor
Leaves blow in through a broken door
Receptionist shouts for Mr Gray
Mumbles ‘Sorry, half-hour delay.’
Posters warn of TB and flu
A Step class for a healthy You
Pensioners read the People’s Friend
It seems this queue will never end
They’re late, its crowded, so much stress
God bless the grafters of the NHS 

Mr Paskin’s Cock

Poor old Paskin liked his bush topiary, but it would prove to be his downfall…

Mr Paskin had a huge cock
In his privet. Around the clock
He’d be snipping it. Daft old git
Round here he was asking for it

Late one night someone clipped its wings
He’s had to practise other things
Lion, tiger. Giraffe. Don’t mock
No more jokes about Paskin’s cock